Riding without a seatbelt
“You can’t always get what you want. But, if you try, sometimes you get what you need.”
I spent my 30th birthday counting seatbelts.
That’s right, counting seatbelts. Because in my “previous life,” I used to be a public accountant at a large Atlanta public accounting firm. And, public accountants count seatbelts.
That’s right, before I became a Pilates instructor, my job consisted of compiling tax returns and performing audits for medium to large sized manufacturing companies. These audits often entailed big inventory counts.
Counting the Years
It was May 21, 2000… the day that I turned the big 3–0. A milestone birthday, for sure. And, milestone birthdays are supposed to be celebrated in a big way, right?
Well, my milestone birthday was spent somewhere in rural Virginia counting seatbelts. I can’t even remember the name of the town, but I do remember there was nothing there… nothing… not even a fast food restaurant. There were a few blighted buildings, maybe an unmanned municipal building of some sort, and the one and only convenience store.
We were there to do the inventory count for an audit client that mass produced seatbelts. It was a big undertaking, and all of the firm’s junior accountants were brought in for this audit. There were probably 20 of us counting threads, dyes, woven belts, and all the other inventory items the company was carrying on their balance sheet.
It was a Saturday. It wasn’t fun. It was my 30th birthday…one of those milestone birthdays that is supposed to be celebrated in a big way.
The “Party”
After a full day of counting, a few of us junior auditors went to have dinner at the house of one of the plant workers. The unassuming ranch style home was set on breathtaking rolling hills of the Virginia countryside.
It was a beautiful and peaceful May evening out in the middle of nowhere in Virginia. It was nice to be out of the windowless seatbelt factory. It was nice to not have to count anything. It was nice to be 30.
So, there we all were… a group of a few young accountants, a couple of plant workers and a horse… a horse with no saddle.
The Ride
So it turns out… in rural Virginia, they ride horses bareback.
And, somehow I ended up on the horse… the horse with no saddle. How the heck did I stay on that horse, I don’t know? All I know is that I had 30 years of life under my belt, and apparently, it wasn’t my time to go.
Accomplishment by age 30: I rode a horse bareback. It was kinda fun, but don’t need to do it again. Check that box done.
Well, Shoot
So, after we were done riding the saddleless horse, out come the pistols.
Yes, that’s right. In rural Virginia, they also shoot pistols in their back yards.
I had never laid eyes on a pistol before. The sight of this thing scared the hell out of me. At that point in my 30 years, the only hand guns I was familiar with were the ones carried by Magnum PI, the Charlies Angels and Barney Fife. To me, that was where pistols belonged… on TV.
Turns out there was nothing to really aim at in that huge pasture of rolling countryside. So I shot the pistol into the open space in front of me with the bullet landing in the dirt and grass.
Farrah Fawcett sure made it look so easy on the tv. It wasn’t easy at all. It was scary loud, and there was huge a kick back. Although, I will have to admit that the noise and the danger made the experience a bit thrilling in the moment.
Accomplishment by age 30: Shooting a pistol into an open field… Check. Done.
Flowing into my 30’s
So that’s how I spent my 30th birthday… the big milestone birthday that should have otherwise been spent late night drinking with friends at a bar.
But, you know what? At the end of that Saturday milestone birthday, I walked away with a sense of excitement and adventure that I never could have ever imagined.
It was fun. It was in the flow. It is what I had in the moment, and it was living. It was living in the moment.
The Big 5–0
Fast forward 20 years to May 21, 2020 to my 50th. Another milestone birthday. Another “party-less” milestone birthday… this time thanks to the Covid lockdown.
But like 20 years earlier in rural Virginia, I managed to make a celebration out of it. In fact, it was probably the best birthday I could’ve hoped for.
The day started with my phone blowing up with texts from lifelong friends from grade school to college and beyond… sending old pictures and videos. Then, I had zoom calls, phone calls, emails, texts and cards from people near and far, who were all so dear to me. It was actually more special than I ever could have imagined… and a whole lotta fun!
Accomplishment by age 50: A virtual fiesta. An electronic walk down memory lane. Though, I missed celebrating with everyone in person, I was able to digitally reconnect with important people who have been in my life over a 50 year span.
Ride with the Current
Life doesn’t always give you what you expect and want. Your expectations and desires can lead to some very big disappointments. In fact, my spiritual teacher is constantly reminding me: “When you plant your seeds in the garden of expectation, there is disappointment at every turn.”
She’s had to tell me this a bunch lately. Seems like life keeps letting me down. But, I have come to see that the problem is not with life itself. Rather, the problem is with my expectations… the expectations that I am attaching to the important situations and people in my life.
Let go of the Reigns
The lesson is surrender. Consider riding Life bareback… she’s got you. The lesson is to go with the flow. The lesson is to stop thinking so much and start just letting it flow… whatever is happening is happening for a reason so just go with it… no matter how weird or uncomfortable it is. Let it go.
When I put expectations on situations and people, I am trying to control things. Can’t do that. Life is stubborn like that… it will not be controlled. Life will let me know every single time that I’m trying to control it.
I have to be honest, I bitched a lot about my 30th birthday at the time. I did not seem to recognize the blessing of the flow at the time. But, when the 50th rolled around, I rolled a little better. I complained for a second, but then realized that this is the way life is.
When you try sometime, you get what you need… when you start trying to surrender to the flow of the natural order of life, you get what you need… and most often, what you want too!
It’s kinda hard… because it’s kinda like “trying” to not “try”. But, just try it anyway… surrender… let go.
I dive deeper into balancing “trying” and “surrendering” with my 15-minute alignment-based exercise programs on The Balance Movement, which helps active people over 50 like myself remain active for the rest of their lives.